Sandra was looking at used ads for a car for me. She sent me this gem.

1987 Dodge Shadow

Description
Crashed it into a ditch, the front end is a little smashed up, the engine runs but seems to have a fuel problem other than that, its almost mint, interior is in great shape, the majority of the body is in good shape, 2 good wheels, all the glass is good. Looking to sell as a whole or for parts. Make me an offer.
Central Saanich (Where is this?)

I will have a Ford GT. They stopped production on them this month. I don’t care. I will have one. It’s a fact.

Christmas was good. Sandra did a great job getting stuff for me, and she seemed to be pretty happy with the stuff I got her. I got Guitar Hero from my mom and a whole pile of stuff from Sandra. Highlights included Scarface for the PS2, a friggin awesome iced tea maker, a bunch of books, The Adventures of Pete and Pete season 1, the Roger Waters CD The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking, a Tenacious D shirt, and Pick of Destiny necklace that’s now hanging from my car’s rearview mirror.

Speaking of the car… so the Chrysler New Yorker is no more. Literally. The transmission went out and I couldn’t justify putting over a grand into a car I paid 250 bucks for. We ended up finding a 93 (I think) Ford Tempo for 400 bucks. It’s actually in pretty damned good shape. The guy selling it just wanted to get rid of it because he had a new car and didn’t have a parking spot at his apartment complex for it. So yeah, we bought that and the New Yorker went to the crusher.

It made me pretty sad to get rid of that New Yorker. I loved that car. It was so friggin comfortable. It was like putting a pet down, because it was still very much alive. I mean, it ran… it just couldn’t change gears. It was like a horse with a broken leg. I was alive and virile… it just couldn’t race anymore. Although, it had other problems that would eventually need to be dealt with, and I wasn’t in a position to actually put the money and time into sorting out.

So I put a Day of the Dead sticker on the back and my Pick of Destiny necklace on the rearview and it’s officially a Joe car. It’s still certainly not my Maverick, but it’s a Joe car all the same. I need to get an MP3 player or something that I can hook up to an FM transmitter and listen to some music. Right now it’s got a tape deck and a radio but no CD, so I’ve been going a little crazy without my music. I hate the radio and I’ve long since packed away my tapes. I don’t think I could go back to tapes anyway.

New Years was entirely uneventful. Worked until 8 and then went home and watched TV with Sandra. We watched Dick Clark’s Rockin’  New Years, which is now Ryan Seacrest’s Rockin’  New Years featuring Dick Clark. It was cheesy as hell as usual, but I’m always glad to see Christina Aguilera perform. Fergy on the other hand is friggin obnoxious. She’s replaced Gwen Stefani as the official ”Chick that looks like she smells weird” and Gwen has just gone insane. Seeing Dick Clark all fucked up from his stroke is kind of depressing.

Right now I’m tired but I don’t want to go to sleep. I get this thing where I desperately try to hold onto the night even though I’m getting retarded tired and the later I stay up the more tired I’ll be tomorrow. I just feel like when the house is quiet and it’s dark and no one is going to call me or come knocking on the door… that’s like pure Joe time. I can do anything I want (except, like, hammer stuff and set off fireworks or play “lets scream a lot for no reason”) and no one cares. I can write if I want and listen to music on my headphones. I watch watch movies or draw or whatever. I can do that stuff during the day if I’m not at work, but it’s not the same. There are other things to do that weigh on me and people call me on the phone and I have to go out and pick things up and drop things off and the world is buzzing all around me, keeping me distracted and unable to focus on anything specific. I can sit down and watch a movie but I’ll get up five times over the course of the movie. I’ll smoke and answer the phone and go pee, and then I’ll check my email and talk to my neighbor and switch the laundry and bla bla bla. At night all I have to do is whatever I want for as long as I want.

But here we are. I’m falling down tired but I’m still sitting here writing. Of course, I’ve been home from work for three hours and I haven’t really DONE anything productive. I’ve worked on my website that no one goes to and I’ve written this.

I really need to start writing the zombie movie. My mom suggested some interesting ideas for it and that triggered some more ideas and I think I’ve got a really good idea for really good twist. It also ties into not only the sequel but into another movie I’m working on. A character that is a good guy in that movie will be a bad guy in my zombie picture. Weird how that works out, huh?

Right now my stomach is going batshit so I might end this here.

current music: Pearl Jam – Gone

I feel like crap today. I slept shitty and my neck hurts. My car is broke and I don’t want to do anything at all.

here are some random things:

The chick (formally) from 7th Heaven is WAY to eager too fill out her jail bait card. She should really stop posting images of herself online.

and… uh… what?

Apparently the only picture she could manage to get someone to hold the camera for her was the “I’m taking a leak” picture. Fucking 17 year olds.

 
Amy Poehler, come ON! Don’t be gross.

I have to call the wrecker today about my car. I really don’t want to, but it’s still to keep paying insurance on it. I also have to go to Walmart tonight, which I’m SERIOUSLY not looking forward to. Fuck.

I’m in a BAD mood today.

current music: Pink Floyd-Fearless

My car is fucked. The Chrysler, not the Acura.

I think it’s the transmission, though I know almost nothing about cars. It’s an automatic. I can start it, and reverse is fine, but when I put it in drive it just sits there reving the engine and squeeling. I can put it into first gear and it will go as far as first gear will go, then the engine starts to squeel and freak out. When I move it down to second gear, nothing changes. If I move it from first to drive, nothing changes. Sometimes if I put it in first get going, and then drop it into drive and really push the gas pedel down, it’ll make a big clunking sound and go into gear and drive normally… until I stop at a light or stop sign, and then the process starts all over again.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, and I think I’m gonna go ahead and try and drive out to it. If I make it there alright, then… I don’t know what. I guess I’ll have to have someone look at it. I mean, I’ll have to have someone look at it regardless. I don’t fucking know. Goddamnit.

Fuck.

This is some bullshit.

it’s really not fair.

My beloved 77 Ford Maverick has been living with my mom for the last 7 years. I haven’t been able to bring it up to Canada with me.

When i went down to California this summer, Eric and I actually got it going. It needs a new transmission, but whatever. It was running and I… I drove it. For the first time in years and years I drove it.

I’m almost going to cry sitting here.

I got it going but it wasn’t 100% by a long shot, and I didn’t have the money to get it up to snuff. So it sat there still.

But goddamnit, I drove it. It turned over and purred and we had… we had a moment.

Then this winter, during a snow storm, the car port thing that it was parked under collapsed under the weight of the snow and crushed my baby.

I was, as you can imagine, devistated. i didn’t let it show too much, but man…

It wasn’t really until tonight when I started looking at Mavericks on Ebay that it really hit me…

I don’t WANT some other dude’s Maverick. I want MY Maverick. I want my baby back from the dead.

Goddamnit.

Mine is… well… not really DEAD because, theoretically, it could be fixed… but… it’s definately beyond just fixing the transmission and getting it smogged.

My mom tells me that the front is smashed and the windshield is caved in, which means that a shitload of snow went into the interior, which means that the already fucked up interior is probably rotting now. I don’t even want to think about structural damage that has probably occured. If the frame is fucked, then it actually IS dead.

fuck.

Now I’m all depressed.

I still keeping looking through ebay, but I’m not even finding Mavericks that are the same year. There’s a 77 Murcery Comet, which is essentially the same car… but still. It’s not the same. It looks kind of different and isn’t a damned Maverick. There’s a 75 Maverick, which looks almost identical to mine (though in much better shape obviously) but damnit. It’s just not the same. I don’t want an ebay car. I want my car. That’s the only car I’ve ever owned that really felt like a reflection of me.

Sure, the Acura is a sweet car. But it’s like… it’s not very ME. It’s more like Sandra’s car. The Chrysler is cool and all, and I dig driving it… but it feels more like the car I drive until I get the car I want. I was just out looking at it when I went out for a smoke a few minutes ago, and it IS a pretty cool car. It need work though, both asthetically and engine wise. It guzzles gas like there’s a hole in the tank. It’s certainly not a very practical car.
And I don’t have any money anyway. And I’m not going to go to Ohio to pick up a car that isn’t even the one I want.

someone is selling a 76 Maverick in Victoria for $1000 bucks. There’s no pictures though. I think it may be the one that the guy who works at the key cutting place down the street was selling, like, a year ago. If that’s the case, then it’s in pretty good shape. There’s a guy in Vancouver selling a 1970 Maverick, but he wants 9000$ for it, which is retarded.

I gotta stop this. I’m just making it worse

Man, what a suck.

I need to be rich. Seriously. My personality is not conducive to being NOT rich.

Oh well.

one more picture of a Ferrari Testarossa.

(more…)

there’s this:

Ghost Rider teaser trailer

no. that’s not workin for me

A big part of it is that I’ve never really liked the Johnny Blaze Ghost Rider.

And he looks like a cartoon.

No. My hopes are not very high on this one

And this:

Fred representing for PBS

Yet another example as to why Fred Rogers is one of my heroes.

via filthymonkey

And this: re: I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!

Clip from X3

People who’ve seen the press screenings confirm that he does, in fact, say the whole line.

Nice.

Another thing:

My pick to win this season of American Idol is Taylor Hicks. Not because I think he’s the better singer (I don’t) but because I think the contract and restrictions of being the American Idol is better suited for Taylor. I think he’d be just as happy whether he was on the show or singing in his bathroom. He rarely seems to even know where he is, much less the details of his potential contract. I think as long as he can sing and make at least marginal living, he’ll be fine for quite a while.

Where as Katherine… I think she’s in a pretty fragile place. Sure, Kelly Clarkson has done well, as has Clay (god only knows why) but where’s Ruben? Where’s Fantasia? Where’s that one blonde chick? I think that Katherine is going to do much better without the confines of an American Idol contract. I’m sure Clive Davis is going to swoop down and scoop her up and make her way more famous than Taylor ever will be, and rightfully so.

Another thing regarding American Idol:

People keep comparing Taylor to Joe Cocker. This is a fair comparison (though he doesn’t have NEARLY the intensity of Joe) but I think the more appropriate comparison is this:

=

Oh, and this:

Sandra doesn’t like it when I make up new words for songs people sing on American Idol

For instance:

There’s hair over my vulva
A bush down there
When there’s hair over my vulva
I don’t ever buy Nair
If other girls shave their hair pies
Then why, oh why, don’t I?
and when I was making some iced tea, Taylor was singing Levon by Elton John

And I shall put some Tea on
Yes I shall make some iced tea
Oh I shall get my Tea on
With some ice and some Sweet N’ Low

I shall get my tea on…

And the last thing I’m going to say about American Idol is this:

Of the two finalists, Taylor and Katherine, the one who’s butt I’d most like to bury my face in is….

drum roll please..

KATHERINE! YAY!

Oh…. HELL yeah.

and here she is karateing Taylor, cause he deserves it:

In other, unrelated news:

I will have this new Beamer. Seriously. Oh jesus.

It’s only a concept car, but if the actual car looks like this thing, it will beat out my dream car, the Plymouth Prowler, as the king of “cars that look like the Batmobile”

In fact… FUCK the Plymouth Prowler. That shit’s for old people.

I break with thee
I break with thee
I break with thee

and now I throw dog poop on your shoes.

In other related news:

Sandra and I saw a yellow Ferrari Testarossa cruising up the highway last week.

I pissed my pants and then proclaimed that as soon as I get my big paycheck (cause I know, one day, I’ll get a big paycheck) I’m going to buy me a Ferrari Testarossa. It is my dream car.

I talked for a good ten minutes about how badass Ferrari Testarossa are. It didn’t even bother me that the one we saw was yellow (by definition, a Testarossa should be red)

That was on the way to the movies.

On the way home from the movies, we drove past the Ford dealership. In the showroom window is a white 06 Ford GT

I screamed like a woman and then announced that when I get a big paycheck, I’m going to buy the 2006 Ford GT because it’s my dream car.

Sandra say “I thought that yellow Ferrari Testarossa was your dream car!” and then I say “pfft. Fuck the Ferrari Testarossa. I could never fit in that gay car anyway”

and that was the end of that.

And the end of this post

the end.