This kid says he learned Classical Gas in a week. It was a bet from his teacher to get him out of doing homework. Snarky bastard.

I don’t know if it only took him a week but goddamnit.

Let me tell you a story.

The last time I saw my father was over eight years ago. I was still living in California and he was in town with his replacement family and had decided to grace us with his presence. I hadn’t seen him in quite a while and I had been playing guitar for a few months at that point. So being that I was still desperately seeking his approval I showed him a little of what I could do. It was like “check it out! I can play Baba O’Riley! Three big chords! Check THIS out! It’s Wish You Were Here!” and after a few minutes he asked if I could play Classical Gas. I said that I wasn’t familiar with that song. He said I should see if I could find it and learn how to play it.

So that night I went online and found Classical Gas by Mason Williams. This was back in the days before highspeed cable internet connections and it took 45 minutes to download a song on a program called Audiosatilite, which is what we used before Napster came along.

I downloaded it and started trying to learn it. It was way beyond my capabilities. I could do the little A-minor part and then the G part but that was about as far as I could get.

That was eight years ago and that’s still about all I can play of that fucking song. It’s one of my big failures in life. I could never learn how to play Classical Gas.

AND THIS FUCKING KID LEARNED IT IN A WEEK?! I’ve been trying to play that song longer than that kid’s been alive. Well maybe not, but certainly long than that kid’s been out of his Pokemon PJs. Fucking child ass prodigy kids today.

Of course it doesn’t help that I don’t have any real natural talent for music. Everything that I have learned to play on guitar is all just memory and practice. Lots and lots of it. I can’t write anything and I certainly can’t play something just by listening to it. I’ve gotta read it written out somewhere before I can learn how to play it, and rarely can I even do that well.

Now that I’m thinking about it, fuck that bullshit. What the hell did he expect? That I was gonna fucking bust out Classical Gas after having played for a few months? I bet he doesn’t even like that song. He just knew that was some crazy impossible shit to play on guitar and that I’d never be able to do it, just like all the other shit he said that I’d never be able to do and that I’ve so far proven him right.

Anyway. I think I need to break out my classical guitar and try again. Maybe if I can actually learn that song, then everything else that I’ve tried to do and failed at will suddenly not seem so insurmountable.

In related news:

This guy is fucking insane. I’ve never heard Classical Gas sound like that. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a guitar sound like that.

Harmonic guitar squeeling lesson from Dimebag (r.i.p.)

Plus, he rips on some Van Halen.