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Animals

6a00d83451bdba69e2015394403360970b-800wi

A Girl and her Toad

Little girl holds a toad at animal show in Venice Beach, CA, 1936. Jumping Christ on a pogo stick, is that not the cutest goddamned shit you’ve ever seen? I want to hug that little girl to death like she was a bunny and I was Lenny.

raccoon

The following animals are on my shit list

Pandas Fuck pandas, man. They are the source of way too many headaches for people. They’re fussy and they eat stupid food. They are a bunch of non-contributing dickheads. All Pandas do is sit around moping and not procreating and getting people all worked up because they’re going extinct. GOOD. …

005eg7zb

Dogs

I thought this dog was really a good jumper, but then I realized that he’s just laying on his back going like “RUB MAH BELLAH!” which is still pretty awesome. Probably more awesome than if he was jumping, because a dog that jumps like that aint no dog I wanna …

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bears

So, I feel as though I need to further explore this bear issue. Not bears as in Bear Force 1 (that’s the good kind of bears) but bears as in the blood thirsty killing machines. LIKE ALL OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I went in Flickr and searched for “bear” to prove …

00zk3048

The following cats are notable

QUAID…. OPEN YOUR MIIIND TO ME QUAID….. START THE REACTOR…. Multiple Miggs in the next cell, he hissed at you… what did he say? He said… ‘I can smell your cunt.’ Ah… I myself cannot. I grow weary, for upon my shell rests all the knowledge of the world… also …

river_otter

That was weird

The weirdest, coolest thing just happened to me. I need to explain a few things before I tell you about it. As you know, I recently moved. We’re living in a two bedroom basement suite down by the Esquimalt Lagoon now. What the Esquimalt Lagoon is, is this place where …

raccoonold6

More Raccoons

I have at least three mortal enemies in the animal kingdom. The first two I won’t explain right now, but they’re cows and penguins. The third is the sneakiest and most frightening of the three, and that’s raccoons. I fucking HATE raccoons. I’ve had my run in with these nasty …

racoon-at-orange-rest-stop

Raccoons

I can’t decide if I like or hate nature. Mostly I hate it. I generally don’t like being outside. But I do like the sun. The sun is pretty cool. I don’t like snow. In fact, I HATE snow. I don’t like Raccoons. They’re dicks. One time there was a …