Joe Humphrey

100% Joe

A bit of the original screenplay from a million years ago


Alice is standing, shivering. A long hallway stretches out in front of her. The lights are dim and the walls are dirty metal like the manhole tube. Water runs under the grate floor. The hall is lined with more portals like the one she just came through. They’ve all got electric slots for a key card, like a hotel door, at the side of them.

She is startled when the portal she just came through suddenly slams shut, the wheel spinning quickly and locking into place. She turns back to the hall.

Alice walks slowly down the hall. There are strange mechanical noises in the walls. Alice starts trying to open the doors. They’re all sealed tight. She is  starting to panic a little.

The VOICE (from her dream) startles her.

You could try the key.

Alice quickly spins, looking for the owner of the voice.

Hello? Hello? Where are you?

Look above you.

Alice does. There’s a metal ceiling with large vents.

I still don’t see you.

Because I’m not there. Look.

She looks longer and sees that there is a series of speakers running along the ceiling of the hall.

Oh. Can you help me get out of

Like I said. Try the key.

Alice looks up and down the hall but nothing is there.

I… I don’t see-

A drawer shoots out of the wall suddenly. It’s a ratty semi clear plastic. A plastic card sits in it. Alice picks it up and looks it over. On one side is a magnetic strip. On the other side is a Queen of Hearts playing card.


Alice starts trying the key in the slots at the side of each door. Above each key-slot is a small monitor. With each door she tries she gets a “DENIED” with the key. Alice gets frustrated.

(to the voice)
It’s not working!

Try the door at the very end of the

Alice looks and sees a small door at the very end of the hall. It’s actually a REAL door as opposed to the metal portals we’ve seen so far. She kneels down and runs her fingers over the surface of the door. It’s locked. She puts the key into the key slot and there’s a series of electronic whirring sounds, and then the door clicks open. Alice opens it the rest of the way and peers through.

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So I’ve been thinking about my old Alice in Wonderland screenplay and I’ve tossed around the idea of writing it as a book. It would be part horror, part fantasy, fairly sexy and pretty dark. A little bit of Silent Hill, a little bit of HR Giger, a bit of David Lynch, a bit of David Cronenberg.

I’m rereading the screenplay right now and actually enjoying it, which is encouraging. I think it could be pretty easily translated into a novel.

here’s some of the character concept drawings I’ve made over the years, going back to the early nineties. alice_and_the_cards_by_thewalkingman alice_and_the_caterpillar_by_thewalkingman alice_in_the_house_by_thewalkingman caterpillar_by_thewalkingman queen_of_hearts_1_by_thewalkingman queen_of_hearts_2_by_thewalkingman wonderland

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Jason Momoa



Print via Society6

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Stuff I researched While Writing

It’s been a while, but I’m writing again and writing means googling and wikipedia. That’s the fun part of writing a period piece (1971 in this case) is having to constantly check to make sure things I’m referencing existed in the time I’m writing about.

Not a whole lot tonight, but a few things.

Bill Haley and his Comets – Mostly songs he recorded other than Rock Around the Clock.

Went with Shake Rattle and Roll.

Which brought me to:

Buddy Holly

Mostly I wanted to look at greatest hits album covers that would have been around in 1971, preferably much earlier. I wanted her (Charlie) to have owned the album for a while. I found this one.


Which is nice and old school looking and fits perfectly with the images in my head. Though the tracklist is all wrong, so maybe we’ll go with this one


It came out in 1966, which works. I would have liked it to be just a little older, but I’m not going to sweat it, since it’s not like anyone but me knows which “best of” album it is.

Actually, I changed my mind. 1966 is too late. It needs to be earlier. I think the first one actually works.

On a similar note, I was also looking up Elvis albums. Decided on Elvis is Back! because I recognize the cover and it has songs that work for me.


Back to Buddy Holly:

How old would Charlie have been when Buddy died? Charlie was born in 1955, Buddy died in 1959, so she would have been four. Perfect.

The lyrics to Spin the Black Circle by Pearl Jam
Pretty straight forward. Found em. Not much to the song, which I knew. I just needed to know exactly what he was saying.

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The Worst Person in the World!


Finally finished my digital painting of Nick Offerman and Ben Schwartz as Ron Swanson and Jean Ralphio Saperstein. I’m trying to force myself to go back and finish a bunch of the ones I started and then got bored of and moved on from.


Print available at Society6.

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The Bleeding Hearts and the Artists


Digital portrait of Roger Waters.

Did this one pretty quickly. Took a couple of days.

Now I gotta go back and finish some of those ones I got bored of and put aside.


Prints at Society6.

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My wife insisted I do this

It’s apparently the guy who played Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter movies. Looks like he turned out alright.


And for funzies, here’s an animation of the “work in progress” shots I took as I went.


Prints available here: Redbubble and Society6.

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Benjamin Linus work in progress

Thought I’d share what I’ve got so far on my newest portrait.

1 2 3 4 5 6 6color 7 8  10

Commission information herePrints here

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I fink u freeky (and I like you a lot)

Trying out some more traditional portraits.


Commission information herePrints here

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The worst person in the wooorld!

Starting a new digital portrait. I think Jean Ralphio Saperstein is the best “loser friend” character in sitcom history. 1 246

Still got a bit to go, but I’m happy with it so far!

Commission information herePrints here

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